Friday, December 16, 2011

The one-man-band's night before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas,
and all thru the station,
the photogs were gone,
on permanent vacation.

Reporters all stared
at the equipment with fear,
and hoped a new job offer
soon would be near.

When out from the scanner
there arose such a clatter.
It was a big story,
one that truly would matter.

The reporter then loaded
the car she would drive.
The gear weighed one fifty,
she was just a buck-five.

She drove to the story,
and hoped things would jell,
one hand on the steering wheel,
the other on her cell.

It took her four trips
to set up the gear,
then she turned on her camera,
and cranked up the fear.

Was the video in focus?
Was the audio clear?
The interview subject
soon would be here.

Would her standup look good,
and the shot be in frame?
She did not want
to return looking lame.

The man started talking,
she pressed the red button.
The lights started flashing,
but then she got nothin'.

The levels weren't moving,
her camera stopped rolling,
the battery was dead,
the producer was calling.

"No Video! No Audio!
No B-Roll! No Nats!
This technical garbage
is driving me bats!"

She swapped out the battery
and answered the call.
Her mike gave out feedback,
her mike flag would fall.

She started to feel all stressed out and bitter,
as the producer reminded her about Facebook and Twitter.
Her camera was dead, her mike was still screaming,
she hoped against hope that she was just dreaming.

She started to tremble and kept on trying,
a photog looked over and thought she'd start crying.
He reached for her camera, and flipped just one switch,
then everything worked, without nary a hitch.

She smiled at the photog,
turned back to the story.
She'd ask a great question,
go home with some glory.

But the man had stopped talking,
he was no longer there.
She'd missed the whole story,
the cupboard was bare.

The photog came over,
gave her shoulders a rub.
He said, "Don't worry, kid,
I'll make you a dub."

"One person cannot
do the job of two.
It isn't your fault,
shooting is what I do."

He handed her the tape,
and wished her the best.
She gave him a hug,
felt a tug in her chest.

On that Christmas Eve,
as she watched the yule log,
the one gift she wanted
was a job with a photog.

TVNEWSGRAPEVINE, copyright 2011 © Randy Tatano


Wednesday, December 14, 2011

New look

Maybe you've noticed this blog has undergone an extreme makeover. Gone is the hot-pink-mauve-rose-plum-whatever background color (which originally was called "wine"... get it? grapevine, wine....)

Anyway, an author friend of mine named Dwight Okita has a lot more artistic talent than I (my art development stopped with finger paint) so he was nice enough to design what's called a "header" at the top of the blog, incorporating the TV lights you see with the name of the blog.

Anyway, if you have a blog and it is currently "headless" and in need of some artwork, touch base with Dwight. Here's a little explanation of what he does:

"I recently noticed that a lot of blogs out in the blogosphere are running around headless! The header to a blog is prime real estate. It's the first thing visitors see that establishes your identity/personality/brand. I wanted to offer a service to bloggers by designing personalized headers at an affordable price -- currently $75. See my website for other header styles:"

Meanwhile, you might check out his book which was one of the top three finishers in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest. I personally think it's a pretty amazing story.