And Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish friends as well.
Sorry, I've just had enough of this politically correct "happy holidays" stuff.
May the PC police get coal in their stockings.
--
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
The one-man-band's night before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas,
and all thru the station,
the photogs were gone,
on permanent vacation.
Reporters all stared
at the equipment with fear,
and hoped a new job offer
soon would be near.
When out from the scanner
there arose such a clatter.
It was a big story,
one that truly would matter.
The reporter then loaded
the car she would drive.
The gear weighed one fifty,
she was just a buck-five.
She drove to the story,
and hoped things would jell,
one hand on the steering wheel,
the other on her cell.
It took her four trips
to set up the gear,
then she turned on her camera,
and cranked up the fear.
Was the video in focus?
Was the audio clear?
The interview subject
soon would be here.
Would her standup look good,
and the shot be in frame?
She did not want
to return looking lame.
The man started talking,
she pressed the red button.
The lights started flashing,
but then she got nothin'.
The levels weren't moving,
her camera stopped rolling,
the battery was dead,
the producer was calling.
"No Video! No Audio!
No B-Roll! No Nats!
This technical garbage
is driving me bats!"
She swapped out the battery
and answered the call.
Her mike gave out feedback,
her mike flag would fall.
She started to feel all stressed out and bitter,
as the producer reminded her about Facebook and Twitter.
Her camera was dead, her mike was still screaming,
she hoped against hope that she was just dreaming.
She started to tremble and kept on trying,
a photog looked over and thought she'd start crying.
He reached for her camera, and flipped just one switch,
then everything worked, without nary a hitch.
She smiled at the photog,
turned back to the story.
She'd ask a great question,
go home with some glory.
But the man had stopped talking,
he was no longer there.
She'd missed the whole story,
the cupboard was bare.
The photog came over,
gave her shoulders a rub.
He said, "Don't worry, kid,
I'll make you a dub."
"One person cannot
do the job of two.
It isn't your fault,
shooting is what I do."
He handed her the tape,
and wished her the best.
She gave him a hug,
felt a tug in her chest.
On that Christmas Eve,
as she watched the yule log,
the one gift she wanted
was a job with a photog.
TVNEWSGRAPEVINE, copyright 2011 © Randy Tatano
--
and all thru the station,
the photogs were gone,
on permanent vacation.
Reporters all stared
at the equipment with fear,
and hoped a new job offer
soon would be near.
When out from the scanner
there arose such a clatter.
It was a big story,
one that truly would matter.
The reporter then loaded
the car she would drive.
The gear weighed one fifty,
she was just a buck-five.
She drove to the story,
and hoped things would jell,
one hand on the steering wheel,
the other on her cell.
It took her four trips
to set up the gear,
then she turned on her camera,
and cranked up the fear.
Was the video in focus?
Was the audio clear?
The interview subject
soon would be here.
Would her standup look good,
and the shot be in frame?
She did not want
to return looking lame.
The man started talking,
she pressed the red button.
The lights started flashing,
but then she got nothin'.
The levels weren't moving,
her camera stopped rolling,
the battery was dead,
the producer was calling.
"No Video! No Audio!
No B-Roll! No Nats!
This technical garbage
is driving me bats!"
She swapped out the battery
and answered the call.
Her mike gave out feedback,
her mike flag would fall.
She started to feel all stressed out and bitter,
as the producer reminded her about Facebook and Twitter.
Her camera was dead, her mike was still screaming,
she hoped against hope that she was just dreaming.
She started to tremble and kept on trying,
a photog looked over and thought she'd start crying.
He reached for her camera, and flipped just one switch,
then everything worked, without nary a hitch.
She smiled at the photog,
turned back to the story.
She'd ask a great question,
go home with some glory.
But the man had stopped talking,
he was no longer there.
She'd missed the whole story,
the cupboard was bare.
The photog came over,
gave her shoulders a rub.
He said, "Don't worry, kid,
I'll make you a dub."
"One person cannot
do the job of two.
It isn't your fault,
shooting is what I do."
He handed her the tape,
and wished her the best.
She gave him a hug,
felt a tug in her chest.
On that Christmas Eve,
as she watched the yule log,
the one gift she wanted
was a job with a photog.
TVNEWSGRAPEVINE, copyright 2011 © Randy Tatano
--
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
New look
Maybe you've noticed this blog has undergone an extreme makeover. Gone is the hot-pink-mauve-rose-plum-whatever background color (which originally was called "wine"... get it? grapevine, wine....)
Anyway, an author friend of mine named Dwight Okita has a lot more artistic talent than I (my art development stopped with finger paint) so he was nice enough to design what's called a "header" at the top of the blog, incorporating the TV lights you see with the name of the blog.
Anyway, if you have a blog and it is currently "headless" and in need of some artwork, touch base with Dwight. Here's a little explanation of what he does:
"I recently noticed that a lot of blogs out in the blogosphere are running around headless! The header to a blog is prime real estate. It's the first thing visitors see that establishes your identity/personality/brand. I wanted to offer a service to bloggers by designing personalized headers at an affordable price -- currently $75. See my website for other header styles: http://dwightland.homestead.com."
Meanwhile, you might check out his book which was one of the top three finishers in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest. I personally think it's a pretty amazing story.
--
Anyway, an author friend of mine named Dwight Okita has a lot more artistic talent than I (my art development stopped with finger paint) so he was nice enough to design what's called a "header" at the top of the blog, incorporating the TV lights you see with the name of the blog.
Anyway, if you have a blog and it is currently "headless" and in need of some artwork, touch base with Dwight. Here's a little explanation of what he does:
"I recently noticed that a lot of blogs out in the blogosphere are running around headless! The header to a blog is prime real estate. It's the first thing visitors see that establishes your identity/personality/brand. I wanted to offer a service to bloggers by designing personalized headers at an affordable price -- currently $75. See my website for other header styles: http://dwightland.homestead.com."
Meanwhile, you might check out his book which was one of the top three finishers in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest. I personally think it's a pretty amazing story.
--
Friday, December 9, 2011
The Albert Pujols waterskiing yacht hypothesis
I know, that sounds like a title of an episode of "The Big Bang Theory" but it has more to do with television than you might think.
Yesterday St. Louis Cardinal icon Albert Pujols signed a 254 million dollar contract with the Angels. Think about that number for a moment. A quarter of a billion dollars. Those are the kinds of numbers thrown around in Congress when we're talking budget cuts.
Anyway, by all accounts Albert was blissfully happy in St Louis, one of America's best baseball towns. The fans adored him, he was seemingly a good guy who stayed out of the police blotter, and on his way to the Hall of Fame.
Bottom line, the guy had a great life.
But he turned down about 220 million from the Cardinals.
So amazingly, once again, we must quote Charlie Sheen. (Not the tiger blood Internet Charlie Sheen, but the Bud Fox Charlie Sheen from the movie Wall Street.)
"How many yachts can you waterski behind?"
-Charlie Sheen to Michael Douglas
Basically Sheen's character is wondering, "How much money can you possibly spend?" Which brings us to a question for Albert: What's the difference between 220 million and 254 million? (And yes, I know it's 34 million, but that's not the point.) Second question: How are you going to feel when all those notoriously laid back LA fans leave the stadium in the seventh inning to beat the traffic?
And that brings me back to an anchor I know who was very successful in a decent sized market. He'd been there several years, was very popular. He liked management, management liked him. Good company.
So contract time rolls around and he hires an agent who plays hardball. Asks for more money. A lot more money. Won't budge on the figure.
You guessed it, finally the station moved on and rescinded its offer. Which left that anchor scrambling for another job. He ended up moving to a place he didn't like, and didn't stay there when that contract ended. Bottom line, the happy job experience was gone forever.
I got an email from someone recently who was very happy in her job, making a great salary, loved her company and co-workers, yet was still looking to move on.
Perhaps she hasn't realized she can only waterski behind one yacht.
You can't put a price on comfort and happiness. As someone who has worked in places I loved and places I hated, I can tell you all the money in the world won't make a place you don't like any better. Think long and hard before leaving a perfect situation, because there aren't many out there.
If you've found your yacht, why look for another?
-
Yesterday St. Louis Cardinal icon Albert Pujols signed a 254 million dollar contract with the Angels. Think about that number for a moment. A quarter of a billion dollars. Those are the kinds of numbers thrown around in Congress when we're talking budget cuts.
Anyway, by all accounts Albert was blissfully happy in St Louis, one of America's best baseball towns. The fans adored him, he was seemingly a good guy who stayed out of the police blotter, and on his way to the Hall of Fame.
Bottom line, the guy had a great life.
But he turned down about 220 million from the Cardinals.
So amazingly, once again, we must quote Charlie Sheen. (Not the tiger blood Internet Charlie Sheen, but the Bud Fox Charlie Sheen from the movie Wall Street.)
"How many yachts can you waterski behind?"
-Charlie Sheen to Michael Douglas
Basically Sheen's character is wondering, "How much money can you possibly spend?" Which brings us to a question for Albert: What's the difference between 220 million and 254 million? (And yes, I know it's 34 million, but that's not the point.) Second question: How are you going to feel when all those notoriously laid back LA fans leave the stadium in the seventh inning to beat the traffic?
And that brings me back to an anchor I know who was very successful in a decent sized market. He'd been there several years, was very popular. He liked management, management liked him. Good company.
So contract time rolls around and he hires an agent who plays hardball. Asks for more money. A lot more money. Won't budge on the figure.
You guessed it, finally the station moved on and rescinded its offer. Which left that anchor scrambling for another job. He ended up moving to a place he didn't like, and didn't stay there when that contract ended. Bottom line, the happy job experience was gone forever.
I got an email from someone recently who was very happy in her job, making a great salary, loved her company and co-workers, yet was still looking to move on.
Perhaps she hasn't realized she can only waterski behind one yacht.
You can't put a price on comfort and happiness. As someone who has worked in places I loved and places I hated, I can tell you all the money in the world won't make a place you don't like any better. Think long and hard before leaving a perfect situation, because there aren't many out there.
If you've found your yacht, why look for another?
-
Friday, December 2, 2011
Covering the second coming
Years ago we had a News Director who would get extremely excited when assigning a "nothing" story. He'd act as if we should call the network when the story was actually nothing more than a time-filler. We used to joke when we'd get an assignment like this, saying, "You'd think we're heading out to cover the second coming." That reference is, of course, to the return of Jesus to this planet. Which would, naturally, be the biggest story in the history of the news business.
So a while back this thought ran through my head. What would television news people do if we really did have to cover the second coming?
The answer is in my second novel. It's titled "The End" since it might be the end of the world...or it might not. In any event, you'll have to buy the book to find out how television news would cover the arrival of a messenger from heaven... and how judgment day would play out in high-definition via satellite. It's published under my pen name, Nick Harlow.
Right now it's available in the electronic version on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iTunes bookstore, etc. for the whopping sum of $2.99. You can also download it to any computer if you don't have an e-reader by downloading the free app provided by the bookseller.
I hope you'll check it out or give it to someone for Christmas. Oh, same deal as before. Send me a receipt proving you've bought the book and I'll critique one story or anchor segment free.
http://itunes.apple.com/us/book/the-end/id474993680?mt=11
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-end-nick-harlow/1106574268?ean=2940013266940&itm=1&usri=nick+harlow
TVNEWSGRAPEVINE, copyright 2011 © Randy Tatano
--
--
So a while back this thought ran through my head. What would television news people do if we really did have to cover the second coming?
The answer is in my second novel. It's titled "The End" since it might be the end of the world...or it might not. In any event, you'll have to buy the book to find out how television news would cover the arrival of a messenger from heaven... and how judgment day would play out in high-definition via satellite. It's published under my pen name, Nick Harlow.
Right now it's available in the electronic version on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iTunes bookstore, etc. for the whopping sum of $2.99. You can also download it to any computer if you don't have an e-reader by downloading the free app provided by the bookseller.
I hope you'll check it out or give it to someone for Christmas. Oh, same deal as before. Send me a receipt proving you've bought the book and I'll critique one story or anchor segment free.
http://itunes.apple.com/us/book/the-end/id474993680?mt=11
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-end-nick-harlow/1106574268?ean=2940013266940&itm=1&usri=nick+harlow
TVNEWSGRAPEVINE, copyright 2011 © Randy Tatano
--
--
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)