Waiting game

Several years ago I was flown in for a job interview on a Friday. It went very well, I got along great with the ND, we had a lot in common. He dropped me off at the airport and said, "I'll definitely be calling you with a decision on Monday."

I flew home knowing it wasn't gonna happen.

Monday, no call. Tuesday, no call. The rest of the week, no call.

I'd seen this game before. They want to see how desperate you are. If you call, they know you really, really want the job, and will take less money to get it.

So I waited and didn't call. Even though I really, really wanted the job.

Week two, no call.

At this point I moved on, figuring he'd hired someone else.

Week three, no call. I'd kinda forgotten about it. I went on vacation.

Then I got the call and the job offer.

So what's the deal with the waiting game? Why does this scenario play out time and again? Why do NDs say they'll call on a certain date, tell you they have to make a decision immediately, and then make you endure more delays than if you were flying out of the Atlanta airport?

Let's go down the possible reasons:

-The desperation search. See story above.

-They made a decision to hire you, kicked it up to corporate for approval, and are waiting for some beancounter to rubber stamp things. Corporate people don't move fast in this business, especially if the station is part of a large group. You're not on the front burner.

-They're waiting for the results of a drug test, background check, or both.

-They're checking references.

-They're saving money. Divide the salary by 52 weeks, and every week they stall, they're saving that much.

-They can't make up their damn minds. GMs can gum up the works like you wouldn't believe. And so can consultants.

-If it's the middle of summer, there's no real rush to hire since the next sweeps period is in November.

-A big breaking story got in the way. If you're applying for a job in Memphis right now, you're not even on the back burner. You're not even on the stove.

So it's not you, it's them. This is very, very common and happens to my clients all the time. It has happened to me numerous times.

It's hard to put this out of your mind when you're up for a job, but you have to. It's just the way the business works.

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Top ten lies of broadcasting

Ironic, isn't it? We work in a business with a basic principle of uncovering the truth and then deal with people who flat out lie to our faces.

Well, that's just human nature. As the old saying goes, a pessimist is merely an optimist with experience.

I'd guess about half the managers out there will be honest with you. The other half? Well, they could spend a year in a confessional, get ten thousand Hail Marys for penance and still lie on Monday.

So here's a list of statements that you can pretty much discount:

1. "We don't need to put that in writing." Usually heard during contract negotiation, this lie will not be unveiled until employee tries to collect on said unwritten promise, upon which manager will suffer from selective memory. Moral: get everything in writing.

2. "It will be a lot better when we get in the new building." Yeah, I fell for this as a rookie when told that we'd be leaving our ramshackle station for a state-of-the-art facility.

3. "You'll be considered for the anchor job." If they were really considering you, they'd come to you, not vice versa, and not give you such a lame flicker of hope.

4. "We have big plans for you in the future." Usually heard after a reporter who has been at one place for awhile gets turned down for a promotion for the umpteenth time.

5. "You should consider this a promotion." Heard when you have actually been demoted to a lousy shift or had your job description drastically changed.

6. "I'll try to get you some more money." Right up there with, "The check's in the mail."

7. "If you don't sign right now I'm going to hire someone else." Typical hard-line approach taken with rookies who fear they will never, ever get a job. If you hear this, leave skid marks.

8. "You don't really need to read the contract, it's all standard." That means you really, reaaalllllly need to read the contract. And have a lawyer do it as well.

9. "Our company doesn't give outs." Do your homework with other employees at other stations. Chances are you'll find that statement isn't true.

10. "We only do three year contracts." See lie number 9.

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Vapor Lock

Grape,

You used the term "vapor lock" the other day. What exactly does that mean?


Well, it's actually a term that applies to gasoline engines. I'm not a mechanic so I can't really explain the principles behind it, but it makes your car stall and hard to start.

As far as creativity goes, same deal. It makes you stall and hard to get started.

In a perfect world with a nice News Director, a great photog and time to do your story, your muse should be happily skipping through a flowery field while the sun shines brightly. When you have no outside stress, you do your best work as you are totally focused on the task at hand.

But when your mind is occupied with something else, your muse checks out of the hotel and leaves you to your own designs, which generally results in a "by the book" story that doesn't include your "voice." You revert back to the basic principles you learned in school; correct grammar without conversational language, uninspired editing, and ordinary package construction. Half the time when you're in vapor lock you can't even think of a standup.

Your mind might be distracted by tension in the newsroom, a ND on your back, problems at home, a bad relationship, the fact that you haven't had a date in months, money problems, etc. Hard to keep the personal stuff out of your head, especially if you get into those "life discussions" with a photog, as so often happens in a news car. (I guess you one-man-bands simply talk to yourselves.)

The biggest cause of vapor lock really has nothing to do with you. I've seen in happen a dozen times. Another person gets a great job and the rest of the staff panics, wondering, "Will I ever get out of here?" The anxiety sends the muse packing for a two week vacation, and ironically you find yourself farther away from your goal.

Dealing with vapor lock is like golf. Swing too hard and you'll hit a bad shot. Relax and stay fluid, and the ball will usually do what you want it to.

Tough to do, I know, but you have to shove everything to the back burner when you're on the clock or you'll never reach your full potential.

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Sometimes, they're talking litarally

True story. (And honestly, you can't make up stuff this good.)

The interview had gone well. They had flown me in, put me up in a nice hotel, taken me out to dinner. The ND offered the job, we negotiated for about five minutes, and I accepted.

One of the things we had talked about was relocation. I simply asked what most people would. "So, can you put me up for a couple of weeks while I search for an apartment?"

"Sure, we'll put you up,'" said the ND.

Unfortunately for me, I didn't use the words "in a hotel" in my question.

So a few weeks later I arrive for my new job late in the afternoon. After the 6pm newscast the ND tells me to follow him in my car so I won't get lost. So I'm following the guy and thinking, "Geez, this is a weird neighborhood for a hotel."

Do we drive to a hotel? Nope. We drive to his apartment.

I get out of my car with a puzzled look. "Oh, you're staying with me," he says.

Out comes the sleeper sofa. And not a nice one either, it's like the one Elaine slept on in that episode of Seinfeld where she and Jerry visit his parents in Florida. The kind with the bar that runs across your spine.

So the next morning I arrive at the station for my first day on the job, walking like a hunchback, feeling 80 even though I'm 30. That sleeper sofa was a great motivator to find an apartment quick.

Moral of the story? Be very, very specific when negotiating, and get everything in writing if you can.

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That barn door has sailed

The neat thing about newspapers is that you can pick them up years later and read an old article.

But with television, unless you've taped every story you've ever done, they're out there somewhere in the airwaves, bouncing around, headed out to space to be monitored by aliens.

As the old saying goes, once you've broadcast a story, it's "Gone to Pluto."

Young reporters tend to dwell on every story, every live shot, every trip on the anchor desk as a life and death situation. And if you screw up one little thing, it seems to outweigh the 99 things out of 100 that you did right.

Some points:

-You are the worst judge of your own work. It is never as great as you think or as bad as you think. Most times it's somewhere in the middle. And most times you think it's awful, it's really not. Funny thing, most people who really are awful have no clue how bad they are.

-Most people don't notice the little things you think are glaring errors. You're a perfectionist when it comes to your work, and dwell on the tiny stuff that didn't go quite right. Trust me, the viewers didn't notice and most managers didn't either.

-The slate is wiped clean the minute you're done. Just like a baseball player who goes 0-for-4 and starts fresh the next day, so do you. Every day is an opportunity.

-You cannot change the past, despite the numerous time travel movies you've seen. (Believe me, I've tried.)

So basically we're combining two premises here since TV people need something more than the rest of the population: locking the barn door after the horse is stolen, and the proverbial ship that has sailed. Yes, that barn door has sailed, and there's nothing you can do to change it...

Except do a great job today.

Dwelling on past mistakes, especially the ones no one notices, will send you into vapor lock. So bury it, move on, and start each day with the attitude that it's an opportunity to do some great work.

Not every day goes perfectly and not every story turns out the way you envision it. But as long as you move forward instead of looking back, you'll get better.

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