Hey Nancy Pelosi, how 'bout a bailout?

Dear Nancy,

While I know that the correct way to address you would be "Madam Speaker" I figured, hey, we're both paisans here. Anyway, I've noted that since all those bailout requests seem to cross your desk at some point, I thought I'd run an idea up the Capitol flagpole and see who salutes.

You know what industry really needs a bailout? Broadcasting. While rich CEOs are flying private jets to ask you for a few bucks, news people are laboring in the trenches for salaries that often fall below the poverty level. Over the years cable and satellite have killed the golden goose, and now our slice of the advertising pie is a crumb.

You want proof? Starting salaries for reporters today are the same as they were twenty years ago. But the cost of living isn't the same. If someone wrote a book entitled "One Hundred Ways to Cook Ramen Noodles" half the reporters in America would buy it.

See, you're probably thinking we all make salaries like those network people who cover you in DC. Not even close. We're shooting standups off the high beams of SUVs because we don't have enough portable lights. We're selling our live trucks and buying really long camera cables. We can't even deduct meals as business expenses because vending machines don't give receipts.

And, oh yeah, that little digital switchover you guys mandated that will create the biggest ball of confusion in the history of this country wasn't exactly cheap.

C'mon, Nance, what's a few billion for the industry that (and I hate to play our marker) let's face it, put your guy in the White House? In the language of our old neighborhood, here's how it's gonna work: you bail us out, and watch the amazing amount of positive economic stories that start airing on January 21st. Perception being reality, the stock market will rise, gas prices will drop to a buck, consumers will start spending, and life will be fun again.

Then you can go back to really important issues, like making cable and satellite channels a la carte so local stations can make a little more money and the thousand shopping channels a little less.

Please consider our request. I didn't charter a private jet or even fly commercial to plead our case. I'm just saving money and being green with this nice little email.

If you agree to this, I'll work for a salary of one dollar next year. (Wait... come to think of it, most of us in this industry already do!)

And if you're in the neighborhood, please stop by for lasagna and tiramisu.

Sincerely,

The Grape