Interview with a photographer

Grape: We're continuing our up close and personal conversations with assorted members of the broadcasting fraternity. Today we sit down for lunch with veteran Chief Photographer Dave Lenscap. Dave, thanks for stopping by.

Dave: Hey, nice to eat lunch outside of the car for a change.

Grape: You've spent twenty-five years in the business. How are things going these days?

Dave: Well, as you're aware, there are a lot of changes going on. The reporters are getting younger and less experienced, and in most cases, they think they know everything when they get out of college.

Grape: How do you deal with that?

Dave: One blue video standup and they get with the program real quick.

Grape: I knew you guys had a vindictive streak.

Dave: Hey, it saves a lot of headaches down the road. Though I once had a reporter who simply ordered me around like I was her slave. You should have seen her standups.

Grape: Blue video?

Dave: Nah, she was too smart for that. Just a little creative lighting. She resembled Nicole Kidman but by the time I got through with her she looked like the cryptkeeper.

(At this point the waitress arrives)

Waitress: Are you gentlemen ready to order?

Dave: Uh, what kind of soup do you have?

Grape: I'm buying, Dave.

Dave: Shrimp cocktail, lobster thermidor, creme brulee for dessert.

(The waitress takes my order and leaves)

Grape: Let's play a little game, Dave. If you could build the perfect reporter, what qualities would that person have?

Dave: Oh, that's easy. Someone who wants to be part of a team. Low maintenance. Offers to drive the car once in awhile. Carries the tripod. At the end of the interview asks me if I might have a question for the person we're interviewing. Wants to talk about the story on the way back to the station. Actually looks at my video before editing, then asks for my advice while editing. Brings a box of donuts to the photogs lounge once in awhile. Says "thank you" when I've shot something good.

Grape: Pet peeves?

Dave: You got about an hour? Seriously, one trait I notice with all young reporters is that they need twenty minutes of tape to get one sound bite. I'll hear something good and they'll go on and on and on forever, afraid that they'll miss something.

Grape: Do you have any unbreakable rules?

Dave: Touch my car radio and you'll pull back a bloody stump.

Grape: Okay, I'm going to say some things and you say the first thing that comes into your mind.

Dave: Fire away.

Grape: Consultants.

Dave: $%**)!!

Grape: I can't print that on the blog.

Dave: You asked me for the first thing that came into my mind. You didn't say it had to be clean. If you wanna hold hands and sing Kumbaya, you got the wrong guy.

Grape: Producers.

Dave: Stop ordering me around and get out in the field once in awhile so you know what we actually do. Get a map and drive around the market once in awhile so you'll know logistics. I can't shoot a vo in ten minutes if I'm thirty minutes away. Unless you've got a transporter and can beam me there.

Grape: Live shots.

Dave: Doesn't fool the viewer. 99 percent of them are a waste of time. And it is rare that something is actually going on.

Grape: One man bands.

Dave: Well, blue is my favorite color. May as well have video to match.

Grape: Storm coverage.

Dave: I'm not dying for this station. But it is only a matter of time before someone gets whacked by a two-by-four during hurricane coverage. And it will be a cowboy reporter who doesn't know the difference between bravery and stupidity.

Grape: If your station should actually ask you to become a one man band, would you do it?

Dave: Well, like most photogs I've been asked hundreds of times to pick up vosots by myself, so I've sorta been doing it anyway. Not sure how I'd feel about voice tracking a package.

Grape: Would you do a standup?

Dave: If I can find my necktie.

Grape: Christmas is coming. What's on your wish list?

Dave: My News Director's picture on the side of a milk carton.