'Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the station,
The beancounter was cutting,
Not taking vacation.
The staff in the newsroom was pretty darned lean,
With five people doing the work of fifteen.
The producer looked at her rundown with fear,
And hoped that real stories soon would be here.
When suddenly a reporter rose up in his glory,
And said, "I've got a real enterprise story!"
The beancounter frowned, saying, "Don't bother,
Unless Octomom's run off with Balloon Boy's father."
The producer jumped up, said, "Hey, it's real news!
Your budget cuts are giving us all the blues."
The beancounter said, "No, we'll just have to pass,
It's three miles away, we'll surely waste gas."
"Just look at YouTube, and check out the feeds,
That'll fill your show, and meet all your needs."
"Just add some more weather if you're still short on time,
The weatherman's here, he won't cost a dime."
The producer's temper went off like a flash,
"No one will watch this, it's nothing but trash!"
The reporter grabbed his camera and headed for the door,
"I'm finding a story that won't be a bore!"
The beancounter said, "Stop! I've got an idea!
It's one that you'll like, the viewers will cheer!"
"For I am a beancounter, your true Christmas elf,
Just set up your camera, and interview yourself!"
Alas, there was nothing the poor staff could do,
The beancounter ruled, that sadly was true.
And when the holiday newscast did roll,
All the viewers received was a big lump of coal.